Spaniard Grass, you are not my friend.

Friends don't stab each other in the leg (or thigh, ankle, bicep, chin and palm... for that matter). They don't make each other bleed... or if they do, they say that they're sorry. Ok, I know I smashed in your brother's face when I landed on him after jumping over the mud slush near Breast Hill, but it was an accident... and he sliced my calf open in revenge. I still think you're beautiful, but I need some distance and space. I have some hiker friends behind me... can you do me a favor and knock off the violence?

Aciphylla colensoi is a species of Aciphylla, commonly known as Speargrass or Spaniard. Individual plants may be up to 90 cm (35 in) in diameter and half as high, and consist of sharp spines, all pointing out from the centre. It has caused many Te Araroa hikers to cry in pain. - Wikipedia 

Would You Still Love Me If My Legs Looked Like This?

Bushwhacking Babe

I've Got 99 Problems And Mosquitos Are All Of Them

My only complaint, my only problem in life... bug bites. I knew they were going to be bad, but I couldn't have possibly comprehended the magnitude of torture I'd find on the PNT. After my first night of cowboy camping, I counted 58 bites on my face alone. That was while sleeping with a bug net over my face. It is getting to the point where I question continuing... Well, I only question this at the end of the day and early morning when they swarm in packs of 20,000. 

I hate hiking in pants, they bite through my wool long underwear, it's too hot for a fully zipped sleeping bag and I'm using a tarp for shelter (rather than a fully enclosed tent). 100% DEET seems to be doing something, but YIKES! that chemical compound has already melted the labeling off from its toxic potency. A lovely couple suggested a new eucalyptus/lemon oil product, which I'm now in the market for (they also shared an ice cold Carona on top of the Webb Mountain Look Out Tower). 

My grand idea is to find a bridal store that sells tulle by the acre. I'll dye it orange fading into a deep red to match the sunset and double layer it for added protection. I'll sew myself a cape, a gown, a veil... Anything to protect me from these blood thirsty suckers.  

I know I need to look on the bright side of things and stay positive. I mean, come on, if these bug bites are my only problems in life, I've got it pretty good. No bills, no obligations, no stress, no anxieties, no health issues... I'll take the itchy bumps over the former any day.

P.S. If you have any tips, please respond!!!